I am British and I feel quite at liberty to talk about the weather.
It’s bloody awful, isn’t it?
I am now officially fed up with the constant rain and having to talk myself out of flicking the heating on to warm the house up. The gods did heed my (anti) rain dance and gave us a lovely day on Saturday for BFF’s wedding, but as soon as the clock struck midnight the spell was broken and a chill filled the air; the glittering coach changed back to a rather ordinary S-Max and my golden slippers just looked at bit muddied at the heel and were kicked off with the utter joy that only a night’s dancing in heels can trigger.
What is most irksome is how cold it is too. It is bad enough that I have to wear myraincoat. It may be a nice red Joules one, but the velcro is from the devil’s own device and rips into anything I wear underneath or happen to brush against. I whisked my wrist past it and it actually made me bleed. Bloody stuff. Anyway, as I was saying, the mac is bad enough, but I am also having to layer up to brace the chill factor. It’s JUNE for goodness sake! My evenings should involve sipping Pimms in the garden whilst admiring the flora and fauna NOT huddled on the sofa with a blanket, a cup of tea whilst playing bingo on the internet. BFF and I agree – we’re not expecting the tropics but the ability to leave the house without wet weather gear in tow would be a start.
After having a good moan, I always like to weigh up the situation, so I made a list of current weather pros and cons:
No need to water the garden.
Plants are thriving.
No need to wear hideous summer wardrobe that merely shows off all one’s wobbly bits.
Drought averted (I hope).
Good excuse as to why we can’t go to the swings.
The perplexing need for everybody to barbecue is abated.
School cricket matches are cancelled which means Husband is home before 7pm on a Wednesday.
No need to wear or apply sun cream to the kids every morning. Factor 50 can only be successfully removed from hands with a tub of swarfega.
No point in washing car.
Kids keep asking to go to *shudders* an indoor play centre.
Plants have gone bananas (metaphorically speaking, not literally alas. That would be a HUGE pro!). In same vein, grass cannot be cut and is knee-high.
Everybody is moaning. Including me.
Summer is no different to winter, which is depressing.
When it’s cold I eat more. Dammit.
Wet dogs are even smellier than usual.
I have lost the rain covers to both my prams.
School drop off/pick up (with 2 year old in tow) is a NIGHTMARE.
All school/local/jubilee fetes a wash-out thus ruining hours of community effort and hard-work.
Roads more dangerous. There’s an awful lot of dead badgers adorning the hedgerows around here. (not sure if that;s due to rain, but thought i would point it out anyway).
So there you are. The cons outweigh the pros in my humble opinion. Only just though - interesting…… *rubs chin quizzically*
p.s. I was enlightened when reading the poem from which my blog title is taken, that Shakespeare seems to have invented the phrase ‘toss-pot’. Just thought I’d share that little bit of trivia…..