Last night, one of the parental time-bombs exploded on me and my two-year old daughter fell down the stairs. This has happened before with the others and the sweeping panic dissolves as all that is needed is lots of cuddles and a dab of arnica. But last night, as I put my hand to her head to check for a bump I stared down to see it smeared with blood. Her blood. My baby girl’s blood covered my hand and my heart stopped for a moment before my tears welled and I screamed for my husband. The smattering of first aid I that I know deserted me and I was slipping into full panic as I was pulled between phoning for an ambulance or driving to A&E ourselves. My husband took charge and we bundled our pyjamaed children into the car and drove the 20 minutes to the hospital while I held a cold compress to her head, and tried to reassure her now worried siblings. Hardest of all was keeping my own composure. My forced smiles hid the tormentuous thoughts that were racing through my mind.
My husband dropped us off and, I have to say, the hospital were brilliant. They saw us quickly and snuck us through the back so we wouldn’t have to wait. By now, Littlest was chattering away and perky as anything, which was a comfort and proof of how resilient they are. She had split her head; a 2cm cut which was quite deep. There were no visible bruises or scrapes anywhere else so her tumble had left her unscathed, but for the radiator wound to her head. ’I go bump, bump, bump’ she told the nurse. And (un)like Humpty Dumpty, they glued her back together again and she was so brave. Her little hands gripped the rail of the bed as they cleaned the wound and wiped most of the blood from her hair. I cuddled her tightly and she hugged ‘Miss Mouse’ and Mee-Man’ as the nurse applied the ‘magic’ glue and pressed the wound together.
We were there for nearly four hours and my phone died within the first 5 minutes, which is typical. So, unable to keep her amused with the Ben & Holly app we proceeded to colour in everything in my handbag, play snap with my credit cards and I thanked God the geek in me had clipped a small torch to my car keys. I had to get my Husband to pick us upat 11.30pm (which meant waking the older two up) and by the time we got home Littlest had finally fallen asleep and I felt physically and emotionally exhausted.
Today, she is back to normal but I have been very weepy. I think it is delayed shock or something, but I find myself welling up a lot at what might have been. Guilt that I allowed something so precious to me get hurt. Relief that she is OK. A reality check on how lucky I am to live in a country where my child is loved, looked after and mended and such injuries are the result of bad luck or ill-timing rather than despotic missiles or twisted individuals. It is a day to count my blessings.
I totally empathise with you..my eldest did a similar thing age 2 on a kitchen chair..needed the same magic glue and still has a faint Harry potter scar 6 years on!! My latest guilt is middle one falling off scooter 9 days ago and only yesterday did we take her to a and e not because of pain, bruising or swelling (none of which she had) but because she wasn’t using the arm much. To go through the awful time of finding she has a broken arm which is not healing totally straight due to lack of plaster and spending most of the day waiting for a theatre space to have it straightened…never have I felt such guilt!!! Thankfully nice consultant decided no op necessary at last minute and instead we have a bright red pot…reminding me every second of my bad parenting…being a mummy is soo hard and out babies so precious x x
Oh, that’s awful for you. Parental guilt is a never-ending stream….and so often there is nothing wrong. Poor her, but poor you too :(
xxx
Oh it’s so scary when they hurt themselves, glad she is fine, and am sure you will feel better tomorrow x
I remember when my son cracked his head open, as we drove to the hospital, our son asked “am I going to die mom?” I immediately told him no, even though he really questioned us, because of all the blood. Five stitches later, reassured him that he would be okay. It broke my heart though, and certainly scared the heck out of me.
Hope you’ve all had a peaceful day. Always best to let the tears flow, the emotions, stress and guilt release; well, it worked for me. Take care.
Oh love- what a day. I’m so glad she’s okay. The best thing you can do is have a good cry. Thinking of you, Emx
Oh wow – what an day/evening. I’m so glad she is okay, and that you are doing okay too – so understandable to feel teary, its horrid to watch our children when they take a real tumble. Take it easy this weekend X.
Poor little thing. And poor you too for having to go through it all. Hope all is well now.